are you there, god? it's me, mara.

[snaphiss]

hi there, my name is pel! you can find me at wehwalt or hanging upside down in a cave. whichever's easiest.

today i'm bringing you #1 angry ex-fascist, mara jade^*, from the star wars continuity respectable people don't talk about. that's right, legends, where luke has a clone named luuke and han solo has an evil identical cousin with a mustache. it's very serious. please take it seriously.

mara is angry, impetuous, rude, and she's got a heart of gold. unfortunately, she keeps said heart in a jar on her desk. for those of you familiar with the eu, i offer my sincerest condolences for the choices that lead you there, and also note that this mara is directly from the end of the thrawn trilogy. the calm, peaceful jedi master from the later eu isn't a thing yet. maybe she'll develop into that person here!

lol

---
^* - catsuit not included.

Comments

[headinjuries]

I was ready to love you just for playing Mara but I think I love you even more for your EU opinions. (but consider the following: it's a death star, but it's a big cylinder....and built by the hutts! this is brilliant, nyt bestseller list here we come)

Hi, I'm Sam, I also play a Sam. He's from Marvel, so...you know. I can't judge for ridiculous canons or anything.

Is it cool if I add you on plurk?

[snaphiss]

the high octane concentrated crazyness of the eu is so endearing to me. when it's good it's great! and when it's bad it's yuuzhan vong.

hello, sam continuum. i've actually been meaning to read nova for a while since it was written by duggan and i really liked his run on deadpool. i definitely look forward to playing with him, he sounds adorable. but i may be biased toward tiny balls of anger.

of course! if you don't add me i'll have to do all the heavy lifting.

[headinjuries]

Every now and then I have to try and explain to someone why the EU is Very Important to me and I'm just kind of like /WAVES HANDS VAGUELY "BUT THE GOOD PARTS ARE COOL, YOU JUST HAVE TO IGNORE X AND Y AND ALL THIS OTHER STUFF AND ONLY READ THIS STUFF HERE -"

sob.

Duggan's the best writer Sam's had, imo! His first couple arcs were okay but not amazing, Duggan's run was super fun, and then Ryan's run is like....how much suffering can one boy endure before he completely loses his shit.

[snaphiss]

HAHA RIGHT. i mean i didnt read the eu when it was coming out, i only got into it recently, but i feel similarly wrt tos trek (im a TRAITOR). that said i have read a lot of the bad parts of the eu (yuuzhan vong) and i have a weird affection for it. it tries SO HARD, bless it

ohh it's good to hear it's a good run :> and tbh i have a fondness for fictional superpowered children suffering, looks at mara's weirdo childhood

[polyphonos]

EVIL IDENTICAL COUSIN WITH A MUSTACHE STOP LYING TO ME ABOUT THE EU PEL

[snaphiss]

how dare u doubt me??

[polyphonos]

I hate this canon I'm rescinding your acceptance right now

[snaphiss]

TOO LATE I CALLED SHOTGUN

also wedge tongue kisses a smurf with frosted tips who made the death star, this is a judgement free zone

[polyphonos]

I hate that that's an accurate description of her

[snaphiss]

realtalk i only used it because i cant spell her actual fucking name

[polyphonos]

realtalk I didn't type her name because I legitimately blocked it out and can't remember it

[snaphiss]

just bash your face into a keyboard no one can legitimately prove the result isn't her name

[inflori]

hi pel im noodles welcome to the gammmmeeeee

I play Petre who is a hideous baby demon that gets on everyone's nerves and can't? understand? why? So she should smack him around obviously

hope you enjoy your time here!!

[snaphiss]

hi noodles thanks for having meeee

petre sounds great and i look forward to the sweet, soothing, positive cr these two will inevitably have :')

[inflori]

teach me the ways of the force-ing people to do as i say marachan

[snaphiss]

you don't need the force for that you just have to be extremely demanding

see they'll get on great

[inflori]

Oh good my years experience of whining loudly at people is going to pay off

[snaphiss]

no he needs to perfect the art of the whine and make it a demand

soon kouhai soon

[erbier]

Mara has so much sass, I am kind of excited....

[batmotif]

hanging upside down in a cave? I think we shall get along splendidly

HELLO AND WELCOME to the game! My name is Jen and I play this guy named Bruce, who cares about him because

MARA JADE, angry mara is the best, okok, I can't wait to see how she interacts with everyone here, and how she takes to the whole situation in general!

I hope you enjoy your stay here, and I'm going to sneak a plurk add your way

[snaphiss]

i hope i live up to your sasspectations o7 tbh ive stalked the hell out of this place and really like what ive seen of ilde, so i am excited as well

[snaphiss]

the real estate is excellent in Local Cave, USA

anyway bruce sounds like a very interesting character i do love millionaire playboys with absolutely nothing else going on in their lives, what are you implying

mara will take it like a champ i'm sure and make tons of friends and not scare everyone away with her constant stream of yelling and complaints, you know, as you do

PLEASE FEEL FREE i am slowly collecting all the dc fans i can find. A RARE BREED, etc

[frakkincylons]

g r o s s


no ilu come here sweet pel-bean, gently stuffs u in my inbox

[snaphiss]

you can never escape me

[frakkincylons]

as long as you stalk me with lena headey face i can accept it tbh

ALSO, THIS IS SAM ANDERS, HE'S FROM SOME SPACE SHOW AND HE'S IN CASTOR BROOD and i apologize in advance for all of Castor

no that's a lie, i'm not sorry

sam is tho

[decommission]

HIYA PEL I'm Jay, I am familiar with wacky Star Wars canon/non-canon through plurk osmosis but otherwise I am here playing the early version of Steve Rogers from the other Disney owned property. Welcome to the game!

[snaphiss]

i will always bring the lena headey 4 u

i think i saw a few eps of bsg but i stopped before they got to sam? wasnt he dead or something? and there was a lot of angst about that?

its been literal years im sry

[snaphiss]

HI JAY, your steve is pre superhero right? i've never played with one of those, i definitely look forward to it! he sounds really interesting <:

[batmotif]

Um excuse you, a billionaire gosh

But yelling and complaints is a reasonable reaction tbh. I mean Bruce isn't yelling a lot but he ain't happy either, so at least they can have that in common??? Maybe???

I will happily sit in your collection of silly DC fans ironically I am historically more of a Marvel person shh don't tell anyone.....

[snaphiss]

they can be surly and withdrawn and emotionally constipated together, im into it

HAHA it's okay im historically more of a star trek fan. we all have our.... pasts...............

[erbier]

Ah thanks! I'm glad, she's such a weird character it's always reassuring that people enjoy her.

[decommission]

HE IS mostly it means the chip is much much more noticeable on his smaller shoulders :'|

[snaphiss]

silly me i thought that was his cgi head

[sizeofyourbaggage]

Welcome to the game!! I'm Bri and I've got Sam Wilson here of the MCU variety which sadly means he is sans bird telepathy because my headcanon does not make it so, damn it disney

BUT ANYWAY I look forward to playing with you! I'm brbsoulnomming over on plurk, and I hope you don't mind if I go ahead and add you!

[greentech]

MARA JADE

You are amazing. She's such a BAMF.

I'm Stefan (although I think we might have met or maybe it was a different Pel) and I play Pidge here! Looking forward to playing with you!

I'm dragoon1940 over at plurk.

[snaphiss]

hi bri! i look forward to playing with you, too!

of course i don't mind, consider yourself added o/

[snaphiss]

hahaha it was the same pel. you can't escape me, i will always be around to bother you with a star wars

also i'm adding you >]

[sensitively]

another Force-user, just what she needed !!

welcome, I'm Elizabeth and I play Rey...and this little desert rat is going to be so alternately intrigued and disturbed by another Darksider, and especially given her background and the EU background at large...just prepare for all of the suspicious looks and side-eyeing, ok. :D

I'm on plurk at spinebarrel, I'll add you if that's alright!

[snaphiss]

mara isn't actually a darksider because she's timothy zahn's golden child, but it's definitely not something I'm opposed to exploring in game >} she's definitely more okay with imperial bullshit than most sane people and very annoyed by all things jedi so I'm sure they'll have pleeeeenty to talk about

and consider yourself added to my cat picture repository, i mean, my plurk

[sensitively]

ah, my bad - I confess I'm not familiar with the Thrawn trilogy (despite wanting to check it out b/c I've heard things about it) ... but yeah! I would love to have her tell all she knows and then some; Rey's been essentially living under a rock so she will be undoubtedly curious.

\o/ cat pic repository, meet toddler pic repository :D

[snaphiss]

fff don't worry about it. i love the eu but it's really silly and confusing. according to disneu canon rules mara totally should be a darksider but her backstory was written before those rules were invented and then authors had to frantically backtrack to make it make sense and honestly it still doesn't. part of the fun of putting her in a game is the opportunity to give mara more genuine progression now that it's freed from the spectre of constant retcons.

tldr i love rey and would love any cr between her and mara. she is a delight and i've always wanted to play with one c:

hahaha a woman after my own heart

[narcissithstic]

HELL YES HELL YES MARA JADE

Hey, Pel! I'm Avali, I play anthropomorphized Hot Topic here and I am so psyched to have you in the game (and I could have sworn I posted this yesterday but apparently my PC decided to eat it).

[snaphiss]

your pc was hungry dont judge it

anyway yes hi avali i'm v v excited to play with you and the sweatiest white boy in space.

i actually have a potential plot / cr thing if you're up for it. how would you like mara to transfer her weird feelings about the solo twins onto someone completely innocent of the crime of being the solo twins.

[narcissithstic]

so sweaty so white it's like someone left a bag of wonderbread out in the sun.

also heck yes I am 900% here for this, mostly because I have a feeling Ren is just going to have a Real Bad Time trying to comprehend what that even means in terms of his life vs the multiverse and more importantly—

who are you??? ?? ????

[snaphiss]

the angriest bread mankind has ever known

basically mara might have saved the twins lives when they were infants and it was all very dramatic, etc etc, her sense of the force is super fucked up right now and all her wires are crossed, it's possible she could recognize him as feeling similar to said twins / the same as, and because she feels very responsible for those kids because she saved them from ending up as brainwashed murderers she might decide herself responsible for the leaning tower of wonderbread's wellbeing. or just stalk him. or, god forbid, try to talk to him. it really depends on how things go and would be very open ended!

so if you're down im totes down lets party at the hurt feelings jamboree

[narcissithstic]

Oh my god yes into infinity and beyond. I'm all in, let's do this. Time for the Solo sorrow jamboree.

[snaphiss]

also she has a third Definitely Real Anakin Skywalker Lightsaber™

so this should be fun

[narcissithstic]

Okay but important questions: are you giving it to him

[snaphiss]

no he will have to perfect his darth vader juggling act some other way :'(